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Hi, I’m Alyson, a wedding a portrait photographer based in Huntsville, AL. I love Jesus, my family, photography and life!!! So much of our memory is tied to photographs. Just one picture of a special time or moment can bring back a rush of memories and emotion. This blog will keep you posted on all my new weddings and events. My personal page shows a little more about my life and what I’ve been up to!! Please send comments if you have any questions or just want to say Hi! Enjoy!!









I Don't Want to Raise Successful Children

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I read this devotion this morning and it really spoke to my heart. I am an over achiever at heart...I really can't help it... I get made fun of by my family :) So this line of thinking really goes against everything in me... but yet it makes perfect sense for me. It doesn't mean that success is wrong, it just means God might have a different plan.


In my bible study we are doing "The Frazzled Female" I believe it's a perfect study for a stay-at-home, working mother of toddler twins!! This weeks study was about slowing down and enjoying God's best. Taking God with us everywhere we go. It referred to the story of Mary and Martha. That while Martha opened her home to Christ, she is busy serving Him through cooking and cleaning, while Mary is at His feet. When Martha complains asking Jesus to get Mary to help her Jesus tells her "Mary has chosen the One thing, the Best Thing"

That is my desire. To choose the One thing, the Best Thing and let the rest go!!

I hope you are as encouraged as I was by this devotional I got today from Proverbs 31 Ministries

I Don't Want to Raise Successful Children

19 Nov 2009

Lysa TerKeurst

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

I don't want to raise successful children. That's a shocking thing to read, and a shocking thing for a mother to type. So, let me clarify.

I used to define success according to my child's report card. Good grades and academic achievement would surely equal a good child with great potential in this world. But then several of my children wound up being average students with average grades. Though we carted them off to tutors and spent many a late night at the kitchen table helping them, they remained average. And I remained concerned and frustrated.

One report card day I found myself facedown in the fibers of my carpet crying and wonderi ng, "Where have I gone wrong as a mom?"

I dug into Scriptures. I begged God for wisdom and discernment. I prayed for God's perspective with each of my kids. Finally, one day it dawned on me - what if I simply chose to embrace the natural bent of each of my kids as God's way to protect them and keep them on the path toward His best plans for their lives?

What if my A student needs academic success to prepare her for God's plans while my average to below-average student needs to be steered away from a more academic future? What if my sports star kid needs that athletic excellence for his future assignments by God, but my benchwarmer kid is being protected from getting off course by her lack in this area?

And that's when it finally dawned on me. My job isn't to push success for my kids. My job as a parent is to recognize the unique way God created each child and point them to Jesus at every turn along their journey toward adulthood. Yes, I wan t my kids to learn and thrive and grow up educated, but it's not a flaw in me or them if they don't have straight A report cards and trophy cases full of sports medals.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (NIV).

I am challenged to ponder these words, "… in the way he should go." Are we training our kids that the "way he should go" is to chase worldly achievement or to chase God? Whatever they learn to chase as a child, they will chase as adults. Therefore, we must be challenged to honestly assess the way we are pointing them to go.

My daughter, Hope, is one of my average students. She has also warmed many a bench in the sports she's tried, and can always be found hiding on the back row of the stage during school concerts. Using the world's benchmarks for achievement, Hope wouldn't be seen as a child positioned for success. But God…

This past January, my 15 year old Hope, shocked me when she announced she wanted to go to Ethiopia with some missionary friends of ours and live in the remote African bush for the summer. Yes, she may not have trophies and straight A report cards but she does have a heart of gold. And because she's not entrenched in sports and academic pursuits that could have created obligations for her summer, she was free to go to Africa.Free to chase God in a really big way.

One of the first e-mails she sent me from Ethiopia read, "Mom, I've fallen in love with the AIDS orphanage children. They rushed at me when I held my arms out and I tried with all my might to hold all 30 of them at once. I love it here."

Now, don't get me wrong. I do expect Hope to return to her studies this fall, give 100% effort, and finish her high school career having done her very best. She will most likely then go to college. But she probably won't be delivering the valedictorian address or wearing the honors cords and medals. She'll be the on e with a vision of a dying AIDS orphan pressing against her heart ready to chase God's plans to the ends of the earth.

So back to my original statement, I don't want to raise successful children. It's true, I don't. Though Hope's sister coming behind her is an A student and can always be found on the front row of school performances - we don't chase after success for her either. I trust God that she needs those things in her life for the plans He's unfolding in her life. We train with that bent in mind. But, we don't chase it. Just like Hope, we point her in the direction of God at every turn and pray like crazy.

I stand by what I said and I'll say it again, I don't want to raise successful children. Because--- raising God-honoring adults who will set the world on fire for Christ is just so much more rewarding.

Dear Lord, being a mom is a really tough job. Please help me, teach me and show me how to define success for my kids. In J esus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa's blog to watch a video of Hope's trip to Ethiopia

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Spend some time specifically praying for your kids today and ask the Lord how you can train them according to the way He created them.

Reflections:
What worries about my kids do I need to ask the Lord for His perspective?

How should I define success for my kids?

Power Verses:
2 John 1:4, "It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us." (NIV)

Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" (NIV)

2 comments:

Carter Family said...

Wow! Alyson, this is so true. As a teacher, I know I too often get caught up in the academics and forget that I am also teaching life lessons and helping these precious children grow to be good, caring, Christian adults. What an eye-opener!

Anonymous said...

hey martha! i love you and i'm so glad i get to watch you serve Him in your way! you're my FAVORITE!!
love, Mary!